I wasn't sure if I had abandoned this blog or not.
I'm glad to say that I'm back!
I did not attempt any jogging (or any other form of exercise, for that matter, besides walking) for over a month. Although I took my running shoes on vacation, I only used them once for a brisk walk. That felt a bit sad because when I started C25K, I often imagined that by the time we headed east for our usual summer vacation I'd be running 5 kilometres no problem. I envisioned running a local trail and running by the beach. Alas, it was not to be.
But yesterday morning, inspired by the gorgeous weather and by the resolutions that follow vacation gluttony, I ran once around my good ol' Loop. It was easier than I thought, and most importantly, it was pain free. That leads me to think that either my knee problem was an actual injury that needed time to heal, or that I was pushing myself to go too far too fast and I needed to step back.
As I ran, I thought about letting go of my previous goals and expectations. My implicit goal had always been to complete C25K by running 2-3 times a week in order to eventually run 5K 2-3 times a week indefinitely. Now I feel like my revised goal will be to run twice a week, whatever distance my body can comfortably handle. I'd also like to do yoga at least twice a week. I've practiced yoga on and off for years, usually in a class setting. Tonight, for the first time, I downloaded a yoga routine. I tried the Gentle Hatha Yoga 1 from www.yogadownload.com and it was awesome. Since it was the first time, I just got the free 20-minute session, but I'd definitely pay for the full-length one next time. I'm really elated to have discovered this user-friendly yoga resource!
Getting back to yoga adds new meaning to the "big stretch" part of my blog title! :)
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
I am upset.
I was sincerely excited to go for a run tonight because it has been an entire week since my last one. Even before I'd completed one lap around my Loop (at one point a couple weeks ago, I was doing 2.5 Loops), I started to register the now-familiar complaint of my left knee joint. I stopped to stretch and squat and to talk myself into another lap. But as soon as I started jogging again, my knee said NO with an unmistakeable jolt. I walked home, swearing under my breath.
Why Now? (Part Three)
(Link to Parts One and Two.)
A year ago, I lost about 8 or maybe 10 pounds over the course of a few months. I wasn't dieting or exercising; it happened due to a combination of factors, including: abstaining from all sweets and special treats during Lent 2009, breastfeeding a toddler, having a horrible cold (and thus no appetite) for ages and - how's this for honesty?! - pooping a lot (explanation: my bowels like to empty themselves out when I'm nervous, and at the time I was nervous twice a week because I was teaching a class). (Now I'm nervous about posting this personal info on my bodily functions. Ooops, gotta go to the bathroom. Ha ha, just kidding).
OKAAAAY, so back to the point: I gained this weight back over the course of the year and especially, it seemed, at Christmastime. It's essentially okay and unsurprising that I gained it back - okay because I am on the high end of normal but not particularly overweight, and unsurprising because the factors that caused me to lose that weight in the first place were temporary. However, I couldn't help but notice that most of those pounds came back during vacations. I know from some comments that my mom has made that this has been my parents' weight gain pattern over the past decades: at home, they maintain a certain weight, but on vacation, they gain (and don't easily lose it once they're back home). This got me thinking about the patterns that I have learned from my family about body image, food, weight and physical activity.
Vacations for my family have always been at my grandparents' place. There is a lot of food at my grandparents' place - from amazing butter-smothered vegetables from their enormous garden to succulent sweets that my grandmother prepares with immense love. I love eating what they offer to me, and I absolutely think vacations are a great time to feast together. But this past Christmas, I was disturbed to notice how out-of-control I sometimes felt in relation to all of that food. I felt compelled to eat and I often ignored what my body was telling me in terms of fullness or hunger.
A few months later, there was a death in our family. This was during Lent, when I was avoiding all sweets and junk food. On the evening that I learned of the death, I decided to deal with the first onslaughts of grief by: going for a walk (healthy), writing in my journal (healthy), and consuming an enormous order of onion rings (not so healthy). I was kindof shocked that I decided that I couldn't go through that emotional experience without fried food. All Lenten resolutions went flying out the window from that point on.
All of this left me feeling all introspective about my relationship with food and with my body. I thought about times in my life when I've felt more in-tune with my physical self and when my body has pleasantly surprised me with its capabilities (during pregnancy and childbirth, and when I do yoga). When the idea of running surfaced, I took it seriously. I wondered if maybe my life-long aversion to running had to do with unnecessarily limiting myself. Why should I feel a little flicker of panic as my body warms up, my breath quickens and my heart starts beating faster in order to accomodate the intensity of exercise? Could I move past that panic and actually improve my level of fitness? What kind of self-talk/ inherited narrative has led me to never even question the idea that I hate running? Why not give it a try?
I'm not sure if there is a Part Four to this question of Why Now. Part Three is enough food-for-thought for the moment, eh? I'd love to hear other C25K-ers answer to "Why Now?" too!
A year ago, I lost about 8 or maybe 10 pounds over the course of a few months. I wasn't dieting or exercising; it happened due to a combination of factors, including: abstaining from all sweets and special treats during Lent 2009, breastfeeding a toddler, having a horrible cold (and thus no appetite) for ages and - how's this for honesty?! - pooping a lot (explanation: my bowels like to empty themselves out when I'm nervous, and at the time I was nervous twice a week because I was teaching a class). (Now I'm nervous about posting this personal info on my bodily functions. Ooops, gotta go to the bathroom. Ha ha, just kidding).
OKAAAAY, so back to the point: I gained this weight back over the course of the year and especially, it seemed, at Christmastime. It's essentially okay and unsurprising that I gained it back - okay because I am on the high end of normal but not particularly overweight, and unsurprising because the factors that caused me to lose that weight in the first place were temporary. However, I couldn't help but notice that most of those pounds came back during vacations. I know from some comments that my mom has made that this has been my parents' weight gain pattern over the past decades: at home, they maintain a certain weight, but on vacation, they gain (and don't easily lose it once they're back home). This got me thinking about the patterns that I have learned from my family about body image, food, weight and physical activity.
Vacations for my family have always been at my grandparents' place. There is a lot of food at my grandparents' place - from amazing butter-smothered vegetables from their enormous garden to succulent sweets that my grandmother prepares with immense love. I love eating what they offer to me, and I absolutely think vacations are a great time to feast together. But this past Christmas, I was disturbed to notice how out-of-control I sometimes felt in relation to all of that food. I felt compelled to eat and I often ignored what my body was telling me in terms of fullness or hunger.
A few months later, there was a death in our family. This was during Lent, when I was avoiding all sweets and junk food. On the evening that I learned of the death, I decided to deal with the first onslaughts of grief by: going for a walk (healthy), writing in my journal (healthy), and consuming an enormous order of onion rings (not so healthy). I was kindof shocked that I decided that I couldn't go through that emotional experience without fried food. All Lenten resolutions went flying out the window from that point on.
All of this left me feeling all introspective about my relationship with food and with my body. I thought about times in my life when I've felt more in-tune with my physical self and when my body has pleasantly surprised me with its capabilities (during pregnancy and childbirth, and when I do yoga). When the idea of running surfaced, I took it seriously. I wondered if maybe my life-long aversion to running had to do with unnecessarily limiting myself. Why should I feel a little flicker of panic as my body warms up, my breath quickens and my heart starts beating faster in order to accomodate the intensity of exercise? Could I move past that panic and actually improve my level of fitness? What kind of self-talk/ inherited narrative has led me to never even question the idea that I hate running? Why not give it a try?
I'm not sure if there is a Part Four to this question of Why Now. Part Three is enough food-for-thought for the moment, eh? I'd love to hear other C25K-ers answer to "Why Now?" too!
Friday, June 25, 2010
Follow-up Snippet
(See Reactions to Running.)
Dad (surprised, questioning): "Did you just go running again?"
Me: "Yup!"
Dad (smiling, incredulous): "You're scary!"
Me: "It's not scary, it's impressive!"
Dad & Mom (smiling, approving, acknowledging): "Well...YAH!"
:)
Dad (surprised, questioning): "Did you just go running again?"
Me: "Yup!"
Dad (smiling, incredulous): "You're scary!"
Me: "It's not scary, it's impressive!"
Dad & Mom (smiling, approving, acknowledging): "Well...YAH!"
:)
Monday, June 21, 2010
Week ?, Day ?... minus knee pain!
I ran last night and my knee is fine today (though it was a bit achy during the run), so now I just need to figure out what exactly made the difference! There are a number of possibilities because I tried a bunch of new things:
1. I took it slow. I usually go around a particular loop in the park 2.5 times. Last night, I went around once, then walked and stretched a bit, and then went around again. (It was difficult to hold back and to accept that this run was not about making progress or improving on my last run. Every part of me was ready and willing to go further, except the cranky knee, whom I had to respect!)
2. I did some stretches that I don't normally do, particularly some deep squatting before, after, and once during my run.
3. I thought a lot about my general posture and tried to stay long and relaxed, with my shoulderblades down and my body loose. I evaluated my footfalls and experimented with how it felt to land on different parts of my foot. (I find it hard to determine what part I naturally land on, and even harder to figure out if I'm doing it "right" because there seems to be so much controversy on this topic out there on the world wide web.)
4. I wore my old running shoes instead of my new ones, just to see. I really hope that footwear is not a factor in my absence of knee pain cuz I paid a good wad of cash for those new shoes that are supposedly ideal for my flat feet!
5. (Not that this relates to possible knee pain but) for the first time ever, I didn't bring the ipod. No music and no clock. I didn't think that I would enjoy it as much as I did. I felt unencumbered. I noticed the noises of the park and the city, and of my breathing and footfalls. I felt more connected to my body because I wasn't wondering how much scheduled time was remaining. (Good thing I don't mind being ipod-less cuz the ipod is out of commission indefinitely, possibly because it was accidentally doused in apple juice!)
6. I iced my knee for a really long time when I got home.
I felt so grateful when I woke up this morning and could walk without pain! Now I just need to figure out how to keep it that way. I'm not sure it's wise or necessary to go back to the routines prescribed by C25K. My goal is still to run 5k but maybe I need some homemade intervals sometimes, like I did last night. As much as I love to follow instructions when learning something new, I also need to respect my pace and my body. I'm also wondering if I should therefore also modify my fantasy of running 5K three times a week. Maybe it would be smarter to run once or twice weekly and to do something different too, like pilates (which I've always been intimidated by but C25K has improved my confidence in the physical activity department).
Oh, look, it's 1:42 am! I've been doing as much school work as possible in the evenings after my daughter is in bed so I've been keeping some very last hours. Now it's time to go sleep.
1. I took it slow. I usually go around a particular loop in the park 2.5 times. Last night, I went around once, then walked and stretched a bit, and then went around again. (It was difficult to hold back and to accept that this run was not about making progress or improving on my last run. Every part of me was ready and willing to go further, except the cranky knee, whom I had to respect!)
2. I did some stretches that I don't normally do, particularly some deep squatting before, after, and once during my run.
3. I thought a lot about my general posture and tried to stay long and relaxed, with my shoulderblades down and my body loose. I evaluated my footfalls and experimented with how it felt to land on different parts of my foot. (I find it hard to determine what part I naturally land on, and even harder to figure out if I'm doing it "right" because there seems to be so much controversy on this topic out there on the world wide web.)
4. I wore my old running shoes instead of my new ones, just to see. I really hope that footwear is not a factor in my absence of knee pain cuz I paid a good wad of cash for those new shoes that are supposedly ideal for my flat feet!
5. (Not that this relates to possible knee pain but) for the first time ever, I didn't bring the ipod. No music and no clock. I didn't think that I would enjoy it as much as I did. I felt unencumbered. I noticed the noises of the park and the city, and of my breathing and footfalls. I felt more connected to my body because I wasn't wondering how much scheduled time was remaining. (Good thing I don't mind being ipod-less cuz the ipod is out of commission indefinitely, possibly because it was accidentally doused in apple juice!)
6. I iced my knee for a really long time when I got home.
I felt so grateful when I woke up this morning and could walk without pain! Now I just need to figure out how to keep it that way. I'm not sure it's wise or necessary to go back to the routines prescribed by C25K. My goal is still to run 5k but maybe I need some homemade intervals sometimes, like I did last night. As much as I love to follow instructions when learning something new, I also need to respect my pace and my body. I'm also wondering if I should therefore also modify my fantasy of running 5K three times a week. Maybe it would be smarter to run once or twice weekly and to do something different too, like pilates (which I've always been intimidated by but C25K has improved my confidence in the physical activity department).
Oh, look, it's 1:42 am! I've been doing as much school work as possible in the evenings after my daughter is in bed so I've been keeping some very last hours. Now it's time to go sleep.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Bookmark
Just came across another encouraging site via the C25K Facebook page: Knee pain.
P.S. I still haven't tried another run - because I'm 1. a bit scared and 2. crazy busy with my thesis. But it's definitely gonna happen either tonight or tomorrow.
P.S. I still haven't tried another run - because I'm 1. a bit scared and 2. crazy busy with my thesis. But it's definitely gonna happen either tonight or tomorrow.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Discouraged vs. Hopeful
My knee was very unhappy after Tuesday's run and I was feeling very discouraged. It felt stiff and fragile and I felt seriously impaired when I need to chase my daughter down the sidewalk, or carry her stroller up and down the steps to the subway. Because my knee started to bother me around the time that I finished the intervals and started the 20 and 25 minute runs, I began to think that my joints simply can't handle "long" runs. A couple friends sympathised, but also talked about how brutal running can be, and how runners regularly wreck their knees. I considered the possibility that I might have to respect my weaknesses and quit. Mega disappointment!
But then a bit of hopefulness creeped back into my doom-and-gloom. My knee felt stronger much more quickly than it had last week, which was encouraging. Then I read a few articles on-line, one of which begins: "Knee injuries are neither inevitable nor debilitating for runners. In fact, most knee pain is easily corrected if properly managed." A runner friend reassured me that knee tenderness (which he distinguished from the real pain of injury) is normal and will eventually go away and that I should just rest extra, maybe temporarily scale down my running time, and make use of anti-inflammatory medicine and creams.
So I haven't given up yet. But I haven't run again either. I have a crazy stressful school deadline at the end of this month so this is actually a good time for my running schedule to be a bit more relaxed. However, I do really like to follow instructions when I'm trying something new, so I'm disappointed to have to modify my C25K timeline.
We'll see what happens..
(UPDATED to add: Skimming back through my blog, I just noticed that I first complained of pain on the inside of my left knee way back on May 11! So this has been a weak point almost from the start. Hmmmm.)
But then a bit of hopefulness creeped back into my doom-and-gloom. My knee felt stronger much more quickly than it had last week, which was encouraging. Then I read a few articles on-line, one of which begins: "Knee injuries are neither inevitable nor debilitating for runners. In fact, most knee pain is easily corrected if properly managed." A runner friend reassured me that knee tenderness (which he distinguished from the real pain of injury) is normal and will eventually go away and that I should just rest extra, maybe temporarily scale down my running time, and make use of anti-inflammatory medicine and creams.
So I haven't given up yet. But I haven't run again either. I have a crazy stressful school deadline at the end of this month so this is actually a good time for my running schedule to be a bit more relaxed. However, I do really like to follow instructions when I'm trying something new, so I'm disappointed to have to modify my C25K timeline.
We'll see what happens..
(UPDATED to add: Skimming back through my blog, I just noticed that I first complained of pain on the inside of my left knee way back on May 11! So this has been a weak point almost from the start. Hmmmm.)
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